Our Courtship and Engagement Story (to date)

Matt: This is the story of our courtship and engagement. Michelle says it will be a long story. With that caveat, grab a mug of hot chocolate like we did and sit down for a good ol' read.

Michelle: Let's start with the facts (remember, I think that blogs are collections of facts...usually). Matt and I met a little over a year ago when I went to go play ultimate frisbee. Back up from that night a few days and we arrive at the night where I met the missionaries for the first time. They invited me to church, but I didn't feel ready yet. They then asked if I'd be interested in going to any other activities with the singles ward and I said yes. They called me a few days later about frisbee and I said yes.

Matt: I saw Michelle grab an amazing diving catch and knew I had found the future love of my life. Yup, it is cheesy, but it was truly love at first sight. I got her number and called her up just half an hour later for our first date, and the rest is history.

Michelle: Matt wishes! I'm actually only decent at ultimate frisbee. It was months later that Matt asked me for my number, and apparently it was for fellowshipping purposes. He was a great fellowshipper!

Matt: OK, if we are dealing with truth, the truth is Michelle doesn't even remember meeting me that night. Of course, she met a lot of new people, and I met one new beautiful woman. Awwwww.... I thought she was cute and nice, and I am always a sucker for fellowshipping investigators. We saw each other a number of times at church events (social and otherwise), and I started using her number for social invitations as well. We were becoming friends.

Michelle: Matt skipped over the part where I had asked him to speak at my baptism. Within a few weeks of meeting him, I had already grown to trust that he would do a great job with it. Matt got my number a few weeks later and I wasn't quite sure if it was for friendly reasons or if he was going to use it to ask me out. I was hoping for the latter.

Matt: And eventually it was! After becoming better friends, I finally got up the courage to do it. I took second runner up in the single's wards manly pageant, and riding on the bravado of that victory, I went up to Michelle and asked her if she wanted to go on a date. And she said yes! So we decided on a date the Saturday after Thanksgiving (almost a week away from then).

Michelle: Matt planned a "choose your own adventure" sort of date where I got to choose among several options for things to do. We ended up going to eat at The Bear Pit, a favorite of my family, and then followed it up with nighttime rock climbing at Topanga Canyon. At the end of the date, Matt asked for a second and I said "yes!".

Matt: So the ironic part is that I didn't end up using her phone number to ask her out; in fact, I didn't use her phone number for asking her on a date until we were already a couple. However, I did use it prior to asking her out to become closer friends and move towards asking her out. The first date was fun, so I thought heck, I should ask her out on another date. And I am very glad I did. I ended up seeing her just about every day between the first and second date, which would become very common as well. By the time date two was coming up, I knew I really liked her, so I thought I would plan a date that could lead to hand holding. So, a night hike in the Santa Monica mountains up to a bench that overlooked the ocean where I would bring my computer up and we could watch a movie together was the plan. And let's just say that my plan worked out.

Michelle: I loved the second date! It's among my favorites of all of our dates. Matt brought along a backpack filled with a blanket, movie candy, and three movies for me to choose from with the trailers already downloaded onto his laptop to help me make my decision. Matt asked me on a third date at the end of the second date. Things were going so well and so smoothly! We proceded to see each other every day between the second and third dates. The day after our third date we went to the ward Christmas party and afterward went to my apartment and watched the movie Elf. After the movie, we walked down to Palisades Park in Santa Monica, a cliff that looks over the ocean and the iconic Santa Monica pier. On our walked we sang "Baby It's Cold Outside," which is featured heavily in Elf. At the park, Matt asked me if I would be his girlfriend.

Matt: Well, and without going into details, that park is also where we had our very first kiss! How romantic. Michelle said yes to being my girlfriend, and so we were a couple, Quite inconveniently though, I was flying back to Boston five days later for 3 weeks, for Christmas. So we got together every night for more dates before I left, and it was very nice.

Michelle: Soon after Matt left for Boston, I headed out to Utah with my roommates. Matt and I kept in touch by email and phone calls. During the time Matt was gone, I became worried about our whirlwind romance and how quickly everything had moved along, especially in light of me being new to the church and the whole landscape of Mormon dating. I realized that I was not ready to be committed, and after talking to Matt about my concerns, we decided to be friends for the time being and see what happens down the line.

Matt: I was disappointed that Michelle didn't feel the timing was right, but agreed with her and did feel like it was best for us to break up. The good part was that we had been friends before dating, and with a mutual separation and no hard feelings, we were able to be friends again. There was a period of inevitable awkwardness, but quickly we were spending time together again, both in group settings and alone together as friends.

Michelle: Matt and I continued to see each other frequently, between church on Sunday, FHE on Monday, and institute on Tuesday, it was somewhat inevitable. Eventually we started emailing each other almost every day. We would leave notes for each other on our cars that we parked at the UCLA institute. I had classes at UCLA on Thursdays and we would meet each other for lunch. One week one of my attendings gave me tickets to the UCLA men's basketball game and the person I wanted to go with me was Matt. When we met for lunch that Thursday I asked him to go with me and he said yes. We started going swimming together as well.

Matt: For a while, I didn't have any thoughts about getting back together with Michelle, but I liked her as a friend so enjoyed spending that time with her. However, over time as we continued to spend time together, and reocognizing that I was still interested in her, I started considering the possibility again. We did a lot together, and she seemed to be interested again, so I thought maybe to move in that direction slowly.

Michelle: During the time when I got to know Matt better as a friend, I got to know him better as a person - a real person of complexity and strenghts and weaknesses. And the more I got to know him, the stronger my respect for him grew. It was nice to get to know him better without the pressure of being in a relationship; it allowed me to relax more and have more fun. In essence, it gave me the time to discover that I indeed wanted to be commited to him. Our time spent being friends was essential, in my opinion, to me knowing beyond a doubt that I wanted to be with him. I realized that I wanted to date him again, for all of the best reasons and intentions. Fortunately, one Saturday let me know that perhaps Matt was feeling the same.

Matt: On that Saturday morning, we had decided to go swimming together again. After swimming, we went out to breakfast and talked for a while, as we had many times--nothing especially profound or meaningful, but it was nice. I had also set up a hike for that afternoon, and gotten a small group together that included Michelle. So after breakfast, Michelle and I went our separate ways for a couple of hours before meeting back up at my apartment, the hiking meeting place. Michelle came over on time (she always was punctual), but no one else came. One by one people dropped out. Finally, Michelle and I headed out together, and another friend was going to meet us at the trailhead. On the drive over, she called and cancelled too, so it was going to be just Michelle and me. Hooray! That was what I was hoping for--more time alone with her. And so we headed out for our hike.

Michelle: I was pretty excited that no one else decided to come on the hike. A week before the hike, I had an interview with the bishop and he had asked me about how dating Matt was going and I told him that we weren't dating anymore but I wished we were. He said that I should ask him out...now! As we hiked, I kept on thinking that perhaps this was the time that I could do it, but I thought that I'd wait until finals were over (they were the following week). I had a great time on the hike and we talked non-stop. We hiked after the sun had set and it started to get cold. I started walking with my arms folded around me to keep the heat in. Matt noticed and kindly offered to help "keep my hands warm" a.k.a. hold my hand! Afterward, Matt invited me to watch a movie and I said yes. We held hands during the movie as well. By the end of the day, I was optimistic that I wasn't going to have to ask him out after all.

Matt: It was a great hike, and a long one. We hiked for maybe 6 hours. I was trying to feel out Michelle's interest again, and so asked her questions such as how dating was going for her. She answered diplomatically but didn't really give me any new information--she didn't say "Oh Matt, I just want to date you again! Take me!" But the hike did go well, and we sort of did hold hands on the hike (her fist was clenched mostly, with my hand around it to warm it). The best sign however was that the one guy she mentioned she told me had invited her to his birthday party that night. I asked her to join some of my friends and me watching a movie a few hours prior to the start time, and I got a text message shortly before the beginning asking me for the address. So that was a good sign for me, which led to the more traditional hand-holding during the movie. It was a really long movie (North and South), so we only got through half of it on Saturday, and we all got back together on Monday night to watch the rest. We got to hold hands again (again).

Michelle: The next day I was out studying late into the evening. On my way home I noticed that I had a missed call from Matt. I waited to get home to call him, but I was pretty excited the whole ride home because I had a feeling that he would ask me out. I checked the message he had left right before I called. He simply said "call me back, I have a question to ask you." It turns out that I was right about what the question would be - he wanted to go out again! That Friday we went to Griffith Park with a plan to grill hamburgers. We drove around the park for a while before finding an area with grills. Matt brought some of my favorites - strawberries and mustard-flavored pretzels.

Matt: Yup, I asked her out. Michelle had given me enough positive signals that I felt I could ask her out again. And so she didn't have to follow Bishop's advice, which worked out just fine! We finally found a place to grill. Bu this time, it was just dark outside, and with the glowing embers of the barbeque, romance was back in the air! And so, we had our second first kiss in Griffith Park. I left the next morning for San Francisco, where I was going to be for a week for Spring Break. So again, the timing wasn't ideal. This time, we emailed back and forth every day, and talked on the phone and chatted online many other times. I was very happy with how things were going. Michelle offered to make me dinner Saturday night right after I got back, which I gladly accepted. She made some great Salmon, and we watched a movie and talked and had another DTR, this time to get back together. She said ....

Michelle: Yes! It was great! Since then we kept on going on dates every weekend and seeing each other every night for the most part. Matt was a great support and strength in my life. Dating the second go around was so much better because it had a strong basis in friendship.

Matt: It was great. This was in mid-March, and like Michelle wrote, we were together at least 6 days a week every week. Things were going great--great dates and great normal nights. In fact, a lot of the traditions that we had gotten from our friendship time--institute and a picnic after every tuesday, for example. Months of building our relationship passed, and the time was approaching that I would leave for Utah for 2 months to teach at BYU. We had talked about it, and figured that with the combination of visiting each other in LA or Provo every few weeks and with phone calls and skyping, the time woud pass quickly enough. However, around this time, Michelle made a decision regarding work that ended up not only being the right decision for her for work, but would be really beneficial for our relationship.

Michelle: A few weeks before Matt was to leave for Utah, I decided to leave my residency to pursue a career in general dentistry. I figured I could sublet my apartment in LA for 1.5 months and spend my time in Utah. I was able to conduct my job search from Utah, and I was able to be with Matt and allow our relationship to continue without the difficulties inherent in doing a long distance relationship.

Matt: I didn't want to pressure Michelle to come out to Utah when she started mentioning the possibility of it, but I definitely was hoping she would decide in favor. And she did. She found a great place in Provo that was inexpensive and close to where I was staying (with my little brother and his wife). The first few weks were hectic with family reunions and trips to Idaho, etc., but soon we were in a normal routine, and I was loving it. We had known each other for quite a long time, had dated for a reasonable amount of time, and starting with Memorial Day had even started talking about marriage. Our relationship was going great, and with normal days spent together, it was easy for me to see us moving on to marriage. So, one Friday night, we had decided to go do baptisms for the dead at the Mount Timpanogos Temple. I had thought about sometime soon talking more concretely about marriage, and after a great time at the temple we walked around the grounds, sat down on a bench and talked. And the timing just felt right to finally ask her. I knew that I loved her and wanted to marry her, so why delay any longer, I thought.

Michelle: Matt started out our conversation by saying that our relationship had been going well and he felt like he was "closer to being engaged than ever." Little did I know how close he was! We talked back and forth about how nice it was to be with each other. Matt then said "would it be too soon if I asked you right now?" I said "no." Then he asked me to marry him and I said yes! It was a beautiful warm and balmy night. There was lightning going off in the distance making for a dramatic backdrop. I was so excited afterward that I proceeded to drive the first few blocks back with the headlights off!

Matt: And so we were engaged! It was a very happy night for both of us, and the start of a very happy engagement. We got a temporary engagement ring while we waited to get the real one. And things have been great. Just a few nights ago, I finally re-proposed, this time kneeling down and with a real diamond. We were back in Los Angeles, and went down to a beautiful hike in Palos Verdes overlooking the ocean. And she said yes again!

Michelle: The re-proposal was perfect and so us! Matt started it off by leaving a note on the windshield. On the note he wrote a "blessing" related to our relationship. As the night continued on, he gave me notecards with blessings written on them. In the car we listened to a CD he had made with all of the songs we liked during our courtship. The site he picked to propose was picture-perfect. I can't wait to return there over and over and relieve the memory.

Matt: And so here we are, just waiting for the wedding date. I love Michelle very much and feel very lucky to have her in my life and to be married to her. It has been a good road, with growing opportunities mixed with all sorts of wonderfulness. And that is our engagement story...just 7 weeks left!

Michelle: We are now anxiously awaiting our wedding day, but moreover, the beginning of our family and the blessings of married life. It has indeed been a good road. I love Matt so much and I feel it's a miracle in my life that we found each other and are so happy together.